Grog's decision making secret

A few months ago I was at a post-graduation party at a cute little inn in Winston-Salem, NC. The guy who ran the place also liked to tend the bar at the parties. He had a penchant for unique European beers, so I asked him about his favorite. He quickly lined up about eight bottles on the bar. I knew none of them.

I asked him if he had to drink only one of these beers for the rest of his life, which would he choose. He said he'd rather die than only choose one, so I said he could choose two. He was then able to quickly identify the two he could live with for the rest of his life. Then I grabbed one of the two and said, "But you can't have this one. Now, quickly, how do you feel?"

He looked at the choice I had left him with and said, "I feel okay." He had learned which was his real favorite.

This is the essence of my decision making secret. I think we all really do know what will make us happiest, but we struggle with a lot of unrelated factors when we are faced with a difficult decision. We worry about what will make someone else happy, what will cost less, be easier, etc., etc.

So, if you are struggling with a decision and cannot decide which choice to make, try this simple process. Write your two, three or more choices on separate pieces of paper and put them in a hat, a jar, a bag, whatever, as long as you can pull one out without knowing which one it is. Don't play games with yourself so that you can pull out a specific one.

Now before you pick one, it is important to focus on your response to the one you pull out. Now go ahead and pick the one that will be your decision. As soon as you read what the choice is, stop and think how you really felt about that choice. If you discovered that you were disappointed by the outcome, then discard that option. You really didn't want to choose that one, but really wanted to choose one of the others. If you only had two choices then your decision has been made. Go with the option you didn't pull out.

If on the other hand you feel good about the selection you made then that is the one to go with.

If you have more than two choices, then you need to repeat the process with the remaining choices, until all the choices have been through the feel good/feel bad test. If you are honest with yourself about how you feel with each selection, then you should make the decision you truly favor.

I've tried this with a number of people who were struggling with a yes or no decision, not necessarily using the paperapproach but by just telling them which decision to make, and they have always agreed that the outcome was satisfying. Usually they are unaware that I am putting them through a decision making process until they've assessed the choice I made.

Here's the caution: This does not ensure that you will make the best decision. It only helps you understand what decision you want to make. People don't always want to make the best choice, whether it is the best mate, the best entree or the best buy.