I recently had the opportunity to drive on another planet…Italy. In this delightfully foreign land I was able to pilot a rented Chrysler Voyager van. Oddly enough it looked much like the one in my driveway, but it had a diesel engine and a 5 speed transmission. You can’t even get those options on my planet. Nevertheless, it was quite serviceable for my mission of transporting five family members and myself to a small outpost overlooking the Mediterranean near the city of Salerno.
We landed in Italy in Milan, about 500 miles from our destination. Most of the trip there was on the autostrada, which is not much different from our Interstate highways, except that slow cars drive on the right there, whereas here they use pretty much all of the lanes in a random fashion. Because of the orderly ranking of lanes from slow trucks on the right to modest little (and littler) sedans in the middle to speed demons in the left lane, traveling long distances via the autostrada is not a problem. It’s when you get off the autostrada that you enter a different world altogether.
The last 30 miles to our destination covered a two lane road through small towns and farmland, before entering the hills near the coast. It is on this two lane road that you meet the local drivers. Here the comingling on local roads of cars of the tiniest size, and the slowest pace, with cars of more pace and drivers with more daring, and trucks, results in an exciting, even stupefying, thrill ride.
You have the option of crawling along with the slow traffic, or discarding your old ways and joining the fray. Here’s the way it’s done. When stuck behind slow moving vehicles you ease out to see what’s approaching in the oncoming lane. A bus! But it’s a few hundred yards away and moving with adequate speed. It may reach you before your somewhat anemic vehicle can complete a pass with room to spare. Old way: wait patiently until a large gap in oncoming traffic presents itself – maybe tomorrow. Italian way: pull out even as the last oncoming vehicle before the bus passes completely. That will give you a head start. The guy will expect it anyway and make room. Stand on the gas and make the pass. In fact, while you’re at it, pass the cars in front of your initial target too. If your passengers are from this planet, Italy, they won’t blink. If they are not, they will a) scream, b) stare in amazement, c) close their eyes and await a better place, or d) assume the crash position.
When you arrive at your destination, drink molto vino and mange molto pasta. Fortify yourself for the return trip.
